men pacing on rooftops in the sun
and clouds above them, almost high enough
to see the rollercoasters in the distance
no wind, just beating heat on chests and backs
and upon themselves, the men take in
the empty questions
"why am i here?"
they answer themselves with,
"where else would i be?"
come up short.

a kid kicks an empty pop can in the next town over
his best friend trails behind and watches
he's holding a fist in his pocket
just waiting for something,

everybody in this town waits
while everybody in the next town waits
while all the faces in the next next town stare into
the blank screen of every single day.

laying listless but can't move.


down here it's just winners and losers and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line

i'm tired of comin out on this losin end.

Feeling much better, much more real,
much more alive.
Got all cut up, got done with him cuttin up
and i was not the one to run
Made up so much of it, gave out more than that
got a big dumb dull nothing back
Wadn't upset with it, knew what was coming from it
busted through the wall anyway
I know what I'm doing, I know what I did,
there's no crawling into holes now
I'm much better for it, I've grown older cause of it,
and he's still folding in on himself
There's no one else, there is everyone else and
last night I dreamt of liars
We're too ready for it, I'm all gone and here and present now
And things will fall in, and roll off like everything else
And I will welcome it. Still.

It wasn't the softness of his summer 

rubber fingers,

but the death behind the blankets,

beneath the searching palms

and the empty pressing into my back.