book.

I'd like to start documenting this whole thing cause I feel like I'm in a rut. And I want to have something to check back on, just to see if I can actually handle this rut, and how I get out of it, and how long it will actually take. Cause, you know, we all forget about time and when and how. So I'll try.

I'm in a rut cause I'm pushing against the way I need to be to make it on my own. I also feel myself to be too much for people sometimes. But really, I just want to be the way I am. So, how do I accomplish this hurting as little as I can? Maybe I gotta hurt and maybe I gotta get hurt.

We'll see.